You, Lessons Learned

Part V … How To Describe the Love of Your Life

We are no longer together, but I learned so much from you and our time spent living in our dream…

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.” — Vincent Van Gogh

I was thinking about you today, I hope wherever you are is a great place to be. I will never forget our time together. It meant the world to me. The man I am now is because of the impression you made in my life. You taught me so much that I will never forget. Mostly that I can love and be loved. You loved me with all your heart for a very short time. I saw that I am a better person in love than I am alone.

You taught me the bond between us, sometimes, was as simple as holding hands.

You taught me that at least one hug a day can do wonders for the soul.

I learned when someone tells you they love you, it means how they feel at that moment — the feeling isn’t forever. Live in the moment.

You taught me love doesn’t last forever.

I learned the space between us can be as important as the closeness. We all need space to feel free. It allows us to choose the person we love each and every day.

You taught me how easy it is for me to fall into a codependent role. I wrongly thought I should become the rescuer for your victim. I threw myself into cleaning up your world and it became a habit I could not break.

You taught me how much I really enjoy doing dishes. Washing dishes and cleaning helped eliminate my anxiety.

I learned what it truly meant to add spice to my life. You were as exciting as anyone I had ever met — an amazing playmate. Filled with energy, your voice in my ear, so close we felt; words can never accurately express these memories.

You taught me to see the true value in someone, no matter their struggles. We all have personal demons. Each of us can be loved and valued no matter our past. You have so many amazing talents to share with those in your life. Share your talent.

You taught me how important family can be in my life. Family is everything. I miss our family celebrations. I wish I could have known and participated more in your family. I could have appreciated everything you did for the family. I wish I knew then what I know now, I would have shown it.

You taught me a lover can also be my best friend. You shared your personal life and I felt compelled to share mine. It was as if no one ever would come between us — a team that I was finally picked to be on.

I learned early in our communication how intelligent you are. You are the smartest person I have ever loved. You like to keep it hidden because of your modesty. You were bright enough to know when it was time to set me adrift on my own — giving my voice back, finding the fork in the road, on a true path to find the man within.

You taught me how much I want to have friends with families we can enjoy together. I picture us so many times going to the lake or shore with friends and their families. Traveling. Another water-park. I want that life with someone I love. You showed it to me, if only a glimpse. It will be what I missed. We love cooking, we could have shared so much with other friends if I had known how to. You’re so smart in the kitchen, knowing how to use all those tools. I now know how to properly slice an avocado.

I learned how much closer I felt as a family when we held hands during our dinner prayer.

You taught me what a good mother looks like, how she puts her own wants behind the needs of her children. How a good mother wants her child to achieve the best they can be, teaching them manners, how to form good habits that will carry them throughout their lives. You helped me to be the example they needed to see, so they can become the man or husband they need to — or to marry, to have better relationships than us.

I learned how to design and plant a garden.

You taught me the joy of building that garden together, working towards common goals, enjoying our common love of design, remodeling a house and staging it to be sold. I found out how much I loved working in the yard, trimming bushes and mowing.

I learned how much you enjoy wrapping gifts. You spent hours meticulously wrapping. I could never in a million years match your talent. You made each holiday celebration a memorable event. You were unselfishly making it special for everyone except yourself.

You taught me women can taste as good as they look.

I know I can be a better person than I thought. I was better when I was with you. Because of you, I want to be a better man.

You taught me well, that manners are important. Manners set you apart from the crowd and give you confidence for the world to see. Following social protocol reduces anxiety. You gave me leverage to teach the children manners, or at least try.

You gave much more than I realized. I didn’t know until you were no longer in my life.

You taught me to look for you in my connections now. You’re not in my life but that doesn’t mean you’re not in my thoughts as I meet and try to find a lasting love.

P.S. I will always love you …