How Opening Yourself to Honest Communication Creates Love

Can There Be Truth in Advertising?

“It all began with a mermaid; that’s what she must have been, that girl who stood by the darkening sea, who tilted her head defiantly toward the raindrops, who captured my heart without a single word.”
-Octavia

Like a fisherman casting his net and not catching any fish it’s a lonely day when you meet someone who could be a soulmate, yet you didn’t use the right bait. By bait, I mean you didn’t reveal your true self. She feels you lied by omitting facts, you know it was a fear of rejection that held the truth. You hid too much behind the curtain. Oz gave them all gifts to use in the world — heart, brains, courage or the way home — but couldn’t help himself be the man or leader he was capable of being. Honest and true connections require opening your heart, being vulnerable and facing your fear of being rejected. There may be pieces of information about you, if someone knows, you fear will make it impossible for them to want you — and still I say, there are those that will love you for those same exact circumstances you are keeping hidden. There is a true and noble path for connection and love if we just get out of our own way.

Perhaps it’s your age, how many times you’ve been married or something from the past you’re ashamed of. Recovery. It’s a fear of rejection that prevents us from forming what we want most in life. Connection. So what you end up with is a series of failures that could have carried the possibility of success. You wiped away the possibility with your fear. It’s rare to meet someone you can connect with on so many levels — then saddening to lose it all over a small lie or omission. I think this is true in every endeavor, we have to overcome our fears to be successful. No matter how confident you can be in one area of your life, the fear of anything in another can diminish all successes. Advertisers do it. They are certainly not going to tell you any negatives about their products, you have to discover it on your own. Should we be any different in our personal relationships? Advertisers only point out the best parts of their product. Should we be any different? Toothpaste is not love.

My ship was sailing to lofty heights. I turned it over to higher powers more than once but was drawn back by the voice telling me to use the right bait. The currents swallowed me whole. I was afraid this mermaid would choke on the bait if I left it out too long. I had to resolve this transgression. She was too lovely a creature to pull to shore without my heart on the line. My kisses couldn’t make her mine without risking losing it all. I wrestled with her all night. Held her close. Felt her peach as I prepared to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. No treasure seemed greater, even Captain Ahab’s white whale was minuscule in comparison. It was all there as we held hands and prayed. I took control with my hand pulling her hair closer to me. I held her arms down. Her lower body was powerful on its own. She could feel my longing and my power to have her in my life. Could she trust it was real without seeing into my ship’s hold? A magical mermaid that loves you, needs to trust your ship to be a safe place to rest her weary head and heal the scars of the other fisherman; who have cut, hooked and neglected her with deceit.

With the heart of a true fisherman I couldn’t bring her to shore until I opened the hold on my ship. To land her there would mean overcoming all fears of rejection. She would have to see into the hold of everything from my past and accept me as I am, a simple, but loving fisherman. Hear about the fish I had once taken and how I treated them. I faced the fear and was relieved to open the hold of my ship, though I feel as if I lost my future. It would have never been the future I wanted had I caught this mermaid and not landed her trusting soul. I didn’t pull the mermaid onto the boat that night. She sang a sweet song to me and swam away. Mermaids from the southern waters often do that, they speak sweetly for that moment. Capture your heart as Jason knew when he had his men tie him to the mast to hear the Siren’s song. I mend my nets tonight and rest. My hands are swollen and my heart is heavy. I miss this opportunity more than anyone will know. I felt a part of my soul slip away tonight as she swam away, yet I know I did the right thing.

Congress has passed truth in advertising laws with guidance on how the severity of the crime should be handled, maybe we should require truth in relationship laws with guidance for how to handle the results. I was guilty and may have lost someone dear and special to me. It is a fitting punishment for me, is it fair to her?

“It’s a cruel world, we’ve so much to lose
And what we have to learn, we rarely choose

So if it’s god who took her son
He cannot be the one living in her mind

Take care my love, she said
Don’t think that god is dead
Take care my love, she said

You have been loved

If I was weak, forgive me
But I was terrified
You brushed my eyes with angels wings, full of love
The kind that makes devils cry ….” George Michael, You Have Been Loved 1996

Another lesson I tell myself to add to the many on my journey to find a lasting love. I believe the man I am becoming each day will be treasured by the woman in my future and she will love each part of my past, flaws and all. I will never forget how this French girl guided my heart, though I prayed to never lose her at all.